Do dogs pray?

People pray all the time. From time immemorial, humans have been known to worship anything that they consider (perhaps “imagine” is a better word) as representative of God so that they will feel that they’re connecting to God if they pray to whatever that is that they worship.

But what about dogs? Do they worship anything like we humans do? What about my Hu Zer the golden retriever? If prancing up and down, rapid tail wagging, and handshakes are signs, then I seem to be his god…hehehe…because every time I’m home after a long day at the office…he’ll race up to me and like, “Oh my GOD, you’re finally home! I thought you had lost your way! Don’t you know it’s way passed feeding time? Quickly go to the kitchen before I go berserk and get me a dozen of those plump pork wieners that you reserve for your fat European friend Russell. And a quart of Selena Gomez’s favorite Borden milk. Thank you GOD”.

But seriously, do dogs pray? They don’t? How do you know? For all you know, they might be quietly praying when we are not around. Before I leave the house for work, I’ll usually condescendingly say, “Hu Zer, don’t be a naughty boy, ok?”. Yeah right. If only we can read their thought, it would be like, “Me naughty? No Sir. Except for stealing Ucharm’s cat chowder last Monday, I’d always been praying from the moment you leave the house to the moment I pick up your scent when you reach the fifth lamp-post from home”. Hmm, I wonder……..

But what if dogs do pray, what would their prayers be? Well, I asked Hu Zer the other day. I told him to tell me in my dreams. Yeah, animals talk. Just like in the movie Babe. But, you see, humans are not smart enough to understand animal language, so we can only hear them in our dreams. Really??? Really....lol

So, here are two of Hu Zer's recent prayers…

Dear Lord, I know I’m pampered and spoilt. I know I’m having some of the best dog food in the world. Last Sunday my master was having a house party. And there was this tiny little dish called “caviar”. I don’t know what that is but everyone in the room was talking about it. They were mumbling things like Almas…Beluga fish…RM140,000 per kg. I could smell it and man! It’s heaven! Dear Lord, the next time my master does a house party make him drop a little on the floor so that I can have some, whatever that is. Thank you Lord. Amen.

Dear Lord, every morning when it’s pee o’clock, my master is always in bed. OK, that’s not the problem. But he always locks his bedroom door. THAT’S THE PROBLEM!!! Where does he expect me to pee? At his door? On the Fabio leather sofa? I can’t do it in the house. I’ve got to do it in the garden and he knows that. So please make him leave his bedroom door open so that I can wake him up when it’s pee o’clock. Thank you Lord. Amen.

See? Dogs are different. We humans would pray for things like wealth, a promotion, a beautiful girlfriend, a fancy car, etc, dogs are just content with the simple pleasures of life. So, in return, i'd like to offer my prayer...Dear Lord, thank you for giving me Hu Zer. Of course he can be a pain in the ass sometimes, but he's a wonderful companion 99.99% of the time. So, thank you Lord. Amen.

Which brings me to one of the greatest mysteries of the English language. Why is GOD spelled DOG backwards? Perhaps there’s something that dogs know and they're not telling. Not even in our dreams. Hmm, I wonder…